You're not scared
by ceasarette
Summary: She doesn't need to believe in anything else other than in being there for the people who matters to her. And Rachel matters.


It was the first time they saw each other in months. Nina was still unsure why she was there in the first place, it wasn't like she can fight like Bill or Cameron, and she doesn't have super senses like Rachel. She stopped believing that she can use her ability for the good. She stopped believing that her ability can be good, period. She doesn't even know why Rosen sought her out, and she told herself she only came because of Gary. She regretted that decision the moment Cameron opened his mouth and the hurtful words poured out, and again when she helplessly watched as a man was being killed without second thought and Rosen was set on fire. She wanted to do something, anything to keep her from feeling this helplessness eating at her. Her body welcomed the effort it took to race out into the open field, her mind already filled with the intense concentration that comes before a push, hands practically tingling with the need to grab something.

The pandemonium that met her threw her off. Nina's concentration was forgotten and she swayed on the spot as an explosion rocked the ground. The wave of helplessness started to creep into her again, but she heard an anguished moan beside her. It was enough to shake her out of her stupor, and it all came crashing back to her. How Rachel had spent hours cleaning her new room, then the whole apartment, when she first moved in with Nina because all the new smells and sensations were too much for her. How Rachel had spent their first weekend as housemates cooking and baking for Nina as a thank-you and an apology for the imposition. How Rachel kept the best noise-cancelling headphones and a pair of eye masks on the top drawer of her bedside table for when there's a slightly loud party in the block, and even then, Rachel would timidly knock on Nina's door with the most heartbreaking expression Nina had ever seen on a person. There would be no need for words on those nights, just the gentlest and most comforting of touches. Nina would hold Rachel's hand, or play with her hair,give her something to focus on until the younger woman would be calm enough to finally fall asleep. How there's always Nina's favorite breakfast waiting for her the next morning and how Rachel would blush as she stammers a "thank you". How she can't ever remember Rachel facing anything like this, and how it overwhelming it must for her.

And finally Nina understood. That she may have come to help Gary, but she is here for Rachel. That she would never be able to forgive herself if she let Rachel go through anything like this on her own. That she doesn't need to believe in anything else other than in being there for the people who matters to her. And Rachel matters.

Nina blindly reached out for the younger woman, fully intending to hug her and shield her from this onslaught of sensations but painfully aware of the urgency of the situation. In the end practicality won, and she grabbed Rachel by the shoulders, squeezing hard enough to give the younger woman something new to focus on. She had hoped that contact would be enough for Rachel, but even after calling out her name, Rachel was too far gone to focus. Already regretting what she about to do, Nina squeezed Rachel's shoulders harder as she commanded "Rachel! Rachel, look at me!" Rachel let out anguished sobs, but finally met Nina's eyes. Steeling herself, Nina took a deep breath and poured everything she had as she said "You're not scared." Because she knows Rachel is. "You are completely focused."

She held her breath as she waited for the telltale confusion that signaled the success of her attempt. She has never been so anxious in her life, never been so undecided in what she wants to happen. She sighed in relief when Rachel's eyes became unfocused. Rachel nodded slowly, before looking back into Nina's eyes. Seeing the blank expression that Nina brings to anyone she pushes on Rachel's face broke Nina's heart. She didn't stop herself from pulling Rachel closer to her and planting a soft kiss of apology on Rachel's forehead.


End file.
